Dreams of his Miko
by Amledo
Summary: A Oneshot drabble. InuYasha thinks of all that he did to lose Kagome, and what she has done to save him. He loves her still.


(A/N: Just a little drabble from InuYasha's perspective on all of the things that Kagome was to him and all of the things that he did to lose her. He's kind of growing up in this way, from experiencing the pain of losing the woman he loved to his brother. This could be considered as in the realm of 'What a Demon Lord does for Love' I don't own InuYasha.)

Dreams of His Miko

His Kagome used to shudder in anticipation of his touch. She used to find any excuse to wrap her slim arms about him, or to be close to him. But she wasn't his anymore. His Kagome use to whisper his name in her sleep like a prayer, begging him to come close to her. She use to scold him lovingly when he was injured, driven not by anger but by fear for his life. But she wasn't his anymore. His Kagome once looked at him with utter adore, her eyes would sparkle when they lit upon him every morning. She use to kiss him when no one was looking. But she wasn't his anymore.

He had taken her for granted and had abused her compassion. He had used her to find the shards of the Jewel and had paid little mind to her safety on numerous occasions. He had actually been the one to put her in danger, to force her to risk her life. Oh, yes, there was a reason that she was no longer his Kagome. He had shouted at her and made her cry several times. He had sent her running back to her time with a shattered heart every time that he had walked back into Kikyo's arms. He had forcefully dragged her back to his time when she still suffered for his own selfish plans. There was a reason that she was no longer someone he called his own.

Now she basked in the light of Sesshomaru's love, and she was more radiant than ever. InuYasha's Kagome was a Demon, her hair as pure in its silver color as the stars. She had gleaming amber eyes that were more keen than his and a wit far more dangerous than Sesshomaru's. Sesshomaru's Kagome was a beautiful woman, a happy woman. InuYasha was glad she wasn't his anymore. He was glad he couldn't hurt her anymore. Even though there was always going to be pain when he looked at the Lady of the West, he was happy. InuYasha's Kagome didn't exist anymore; the little human girl he had loved so poorly was a memory.

InuYasha was happy that she got her happy ending, and that she got to marry his brother. Sesshomaru wasn't rubbing it in, he wasn't making a fool of InuYasha; he simply wasn't being Sesshomaru. Kagome's InuYasha was gone; he had grown and matured from the loss of his love. Kagome's Sesshomaru was peaceful he catered to his mate and helped his brother to recover. The way things were meant to be; were not as anyone had foreseen. The love of InuYasha could only make Kagome miserable, but the love of Sesshomaru could save her life.

The love of the Miko he had no more. But he had his heart to remember the light that she had cast upon him. More than anything it was her that cast the darkness away from him. Poor Kagome. The love of the Miko had stayed his hand, it was her heart he sought to protect; if Kagome had not formerly loved InuYasha Sesshomaru never would have given him a place.

Kagome's love had saved his life in so many ways, and in so many ways he was ever unworthy of the love that she cast upon him still. That she loved him like a brother was enough to keep him going. She had asked InuYasha to fall in love with someone else, to go on as he would have had he never loved her. With Kikyo gone InuYasha was unsure that love was possible. The Kagome's love intervened again. She gave him someone to love and care for in a way that he otherwise never would have. The problem was that his love seemed to hurt people.

InuYasha feared loving anyone ever again. He knew that Kagome had gotten her dream man. He knew that she was happy. But was InuYasha so unchanged and uncaring that he would dare risk the heart of another woman before he knew what he was doing? No he was different. Kagome had shown him how to be a proper man. He would be careful and he would be gentle with her. In the way that InuYasha had loved Kagome he would never love another. InuYasha would love Kitari with his heart and not with his greed.

He would take his time and even though the Miko was not his the dreams would always remain. Every night he dreamt of Kagome and she scolded him lovingly, teaching him how to be a proper man for the woman he would one day love. Kagome taught him everything that he needed to know, and though he took his time and appeared shy before her, Kitari thought of him with only love. Kagome had given her the hope that InuYasha would love her and she would not for a moment fail to believe the Miko.

All there was to do was wait. InuYasha knew that he had lost Kagome. That it was his fault that she hurt. He knew that she was his no more for a very good reason. But InuYasha was happier for it. Kagome was happier for it. Sesshomaru was happy for the first time in a long time. And Kitari was happy for what felt like the first time in her life.

The love between Kagome and InuYasha had been doomed to fail. But it was meant to be. Without the broken love of two people an entire portion of history would be shadowed in misery. Without their failed love there would never be a chance of an heir to the West, never a potential Great Lord, and never a resolution to the crisis of the Shikon Jewel. InuYasha knew that he had been destined to lose Kagome; he just never knew that it would build so much joy. He would have let her go so much sooner. He wouldn't have injured her heart the way that he did.

Why did he still love her? He didn't know. But he was glad that he would always have a piece of his heart dedicated to the one woman that ever changed him in any way.

(A/N: I know it's kind of strange. But I felt that InuYasha needed to be recognized in all of the chaos of my other fics. He does feel remorse ladies and gentlemen he really does. Hope you liked it.)


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